Diary of Feelings
by king.crown
Summary: An inner monologue of several characters, a series of unrelated drabbles. Requests are accepted.
1. Megumi (SouMegu)

I was…nervous when I was in front of people…It was impossible to show my true potential…

The thoughts in my head didn't match the rhythm in my heart…

It did not match the steps I took either…

My thoughts were scrambled, nothing remained in place, anxiety got to me a lot…

But there was… someone… who helped me go through it…

Who made me snap out…

Of my thoughts…

I needed that… I really needed it and I can't thank him enough…

I needed his support to regain my confidence…

I needed his words to help me go on…

I needed him.

It is selfish of me… Really selfish… This wasn't like me at all-! But I wanted to be… with him. So I could get everything together…

It's hard to compare him with things that I know-! I'm not so good with words…

But it's like… It's like… He was a key to break the curse.

The curse of my doubts, to my horrible decisions, to my regrets and far more…

He knew me so well, from my face to my core.

He had this smile that could always make me feel better…

He praised me, and my feelings were jumbled up as if he gave me a love letter-!

I had some… confusion… every time I was with him…

My heart beats twice as fast, and the voices in my head stay within…

There was no voice that told me I can't do it…

There was no thought that made me think it's better to sit…

He made be able to stand up… Look at the trial, straight to the face.. He helped me get up and realize what I can do best.

He was able to make me feel that I deserved a spot on Totsuki…

He was able to make me know that I had this potential, this ability…

He was able to make me happy… for who I am now…

This made me so, so glad…

That I was able to get this feeling back…

His voice echoes in my head all the time, the voice that made me calm down…

You know how there was a calm before the storm?

I don't know about that anymore…

I mean, it's true for some people!

But I felt like… A smile before the storm fit it more…

Because I didn't need to feel completely calm, my heart wouldn't allow me…

Sometimes, he could be smiling… and all my fears..

Disappear.

He had the key to open my feelings, to make me feel better…

About my cooking and myself.

And he was there smiling once again…Staring at me… With his golden eyes shining at me, I knew everything was okay…

Soma-kun… Thank you for everything… I hope know… That I love you…

And I'm thankful.


	2. Etsuya (EtsuNe)

The only thing I wished for was to be one of the most famous businessmen.

I've wanted gold, riches, and be a man who people feared.

People would trust me, and I'd deceive them.

Certainly a trickster, if you may.

But take note: I fucking said was.

I don't fucking understand this at all.

I thought the only thing I've cared about my whole life was fucking success…

But why do I feel different… Why the hell do I feel different?

If it's about her.

Nothing is adding up…

I've never felt this way before. No single human has fucking allowed me to feel the way that I am right now.

What's with her?! What's so special about her?!

What makes… me in love with her?!

I don't get it.

I don't fucking get it!

Staring.

Is it her fucking eyes? So red yet so cold?

Is it her hair? Getting tied into those twin braids?

Her personality that allowed me to actually get interested?

I don't know… I wouldn't fucking know!

Staring.

Or maybe I should just accept this.

This fate that has just been twisted around my fingers.

A string of fate that I cannot control.

That I cannot manipulate

This was ironic for me, who thought he had power.

All the power in the world, all the gold that a man needed to live, all the charisma that could lead to several possibilities: yet there was something wrong.

I had everything in the fucking world…

Then I suddenly wanted her.

I discovered the truth- people craved for the things that could easily be gained in my case- yet I wanted something more.

Something more than those damn coins or cash. Something more than those fucking rings and jewels. Fucking more than everything those material objects.

For all my damn years: I FUCKING thought I had EVERYTHING.

Yet now, I realized something was missing.

So fucking late in my life.

Her eyes stared away, but why would I expect her to stare at me for so long?

She tucked her hair behind her ear, and her eyes started to drift away to the sky.

Why was she so fucking beautiful?

So effortlessly?

I would fucking deny all these sudden feelings if I could…

But shit. I couldn't.

I was in love with Nene Kinokuni.


	3. Zenji (MarYu)

It was obvious that not all people could see my talent.

Even my classmates would sometimes point it out.

Not verbally…

Not with words…

Not with talks…

But with stares.

I understood it very well.

I knew it clearly.

It was clear as glass.

Clear as the day.

They underestimated me. Of course they did. It isn't too much of a surprise. There were things they could do that I simply could not.

I had several weaknesses.

Weaknesses that pulled me back.

Weaknesses that people made fun of.

Weaknesses I couldn't cure.

Trying to solve this empty mystery case was a disaster. Alternatives? There were barely any! This was a cooking school!

By sheer talent and luck, I found my way to prove myself.

…

And… m-maybe by sheer luck, I was able to find someone who I didn't expect to feel happy with…

Normally, I'd be… annoyed by the loudness

And I still was…

But it was by own loudness…

The loudness of my heart…

As I… thought of this person.

A smile.

That was better than silver coins.

Eyes.

That was a perfect shade of teal.

Her hair.

That matched the afternoon skies.

Personality- that resembled sunshine.

Sheer luck got me to her…

She was the one who still told me…

That I was strong in my own way.

That I was still great, better than those students who thought I couldn't do it…

That I was special.

She was one of those people… who could see…

The best side of me.

And because of that

She was my sunshine.


	4. Shun (IbuRyo)

**A/N: This was after the fight with Mimasaka BUT also based on that one picture on the last parts of the manga where it shows him being on second place? Or something? I don't know, but I headcanon him being competitive and hating defeat so I based it on that, aye!**

**Thank you for the reviews, I love the compliments given about my writing and happiness that was shown since I published! Motivates me to write, aye!**

**Also I have read the requests and placed it on my to-do list WHICH I should follow. Anyway hell yeah, let's go to the story!**

* * *

I began to wonder what these feelings were…

All I remembered was…

That it came.

My feelings so deep, it started to burn.

My feelings so deep, my life started to turn…

Colorful, and filled with different colors,

Compared to the dull life with lacking of honors.

.

.

.

There were some people I could never beat.

All I could experience was a certain defeat.

That made my whole world smash into pieces.

As the only thing I could remember were blurry face.

The same experience happened again, a bitter taste…

As I remembered all the challenges I faced…

_And I failed again._

**Again.**

_**Again.**_

.

.

.

But some people were there to make the storms go away.

Sometimes smoke cleared, and it brightened my day.

Didn't know when it started, but I hope it wouldn't end…

Because it was her care that made my feelings blend.

She knocked on my door that night, wanting to talk.

Then I decided to stand up, and I began to walk.

That same night was then that I realized…

No, not realized.

Not realized, no… _That wasn't it…_

It was the night I confirmed…

That I _**confirmed **_my feelings.

My heart started to raise-

As she told me a praise…

That I was still strong even when I lost.

_That I was still great even if I couldn't boast._

**That I was still amazing even if I didn't win.**

_**That I was still Shun Ibusaki, experience thick or thin.**_

.

.

.

My heart began opening up through all of this.

A little smile has form, despite my sorrow and fears.

She was right. She was correct. It was still me…

But because of failure, I just couldn't see…

What all the victories has made me be.

_She made me realize that through her words._

_She made me realize that through her smile._

**She made me realize that through her care.**

**She made me realize that through her stare.**

_**She made realize that through that one conversation.**_

_**My feelings, my worth, she gave me realization.**_

That was a reason behind this, why I may have gained some feelings.

But I wouldn't blame myself, but I had to know the dealings…

If I did fall in love with Ryoko Sasaki and for everything she did for me…

Would she even like me back, this was a sight I could never see.


End file.
